i've never really blogged in all the 20 years of my life. never did get into it, never saw the point. 

but maybe it may be fun to do it here since i'll be blogging about things that are better left unsaid in the life that i lead everyday.

hmm .. Lets see... 

i guess i would like to blog about something i've never truly fully understood. . until recently 

all this time, i've desired a relationship that consists of a certain type of love. one that involves the unconditional love of a father. as well as that of a boyfriend. if that wasn't hard enough, there are gaps and pieces that this one special guy would have to fill, fit, compromise for and learn to understand. One of the biggest factor was that he would have to be a Christian who had a genuine love for God. (many people frown at this statement).

and truly by the Grace of God, He blessed me with a man who is utterly perfect, real and AWESOME! and i love him so!

it's been 7 months since we first met online and about 6 months since we've been in a daddy/LG relationship as well as a Bf/Gf relationship.

But Why is it that, even though i love his so much, more than anything in this world, he is the one that i blow up in front of the most. Not that i shout or curse at him, but the fact is i find it so easy to show that i'm angry in front of him.. i understand to a certain extent why. because i feel free to express myself, to cry and fight and whine, when everyday i'm taught to deal with it like an adult. But i really wish i didn't fell the need to do so, i feel like i'm taking advantage of the situation and letting my emotions go crazy... 

that shouldn't be the case right ? not when you love someone dearly... the last thing you want to do is to chase them away with your imperfections and flaws. but.. i guess that is also a way for him to show me how much he loves me. Because all that time i snapped at him or got angry, he never did leave me, not once did he walk away. and i adore him for that. 

That he is so much bigger than me in this aspect and that i can learn to love like he does through his example.

I Love my Daddy...